So, Monday took us back to the shit show that is Teen Mom OG.
Starting with Maci, I have a genuine question/concern. Do her fans really believe she’s pretty? Because I felt sick most of the time watching her dead eyes on that alien looking face of hers. The scenes between her and her wannabe Jesus husband felt like nails down a chalk board. They would be as well letting Rhine and MackTruck film because a whole season of just them and their monotone voices and cameo friends may result in my untimely death. Fucking dementors the pair of them. Without her baby daddy drama its time for Space Raider and fake Jesus to go straight for the exit of this show and do us all a favour.
Ambun, firstly, gtfo with your “its nice to be a full time mummy” bullshit. It had been two days and it looked as though New Matt had pretty much everything under control. Cuddling and feeding a baby does not make you wonder woman. Give it a month and newbew will be screaming from his dirty, crib that’s about to cave in from all the dirty laundry piled into it. New Matt will be up against the wall by the throat while the coach potato screams she’s a gooooooood mommmmmmm.
I always enjoy the over medicated coach potato Ambun at the beginning of each season, the forced calmness always means a shit storm is on its way!
If I were Leah, I wouldn’t want to be my useless pos moms nanny either. Maybe Ambun should get her fat lazy ass off the coach and take bewbew out for the day, but that would require too much parenting from her.
Gary is still the huge greasy shit he’s always been. Kristina, you are a class of your own. The best thing to happen to bewbew and Ambun knows it.
Catelynn. What a fucking joke those scenes were. Firstly, Nova is clearly struggling a lot, I mean even the scene with the horse was tragic. And later on the phone that dirty scab eating sewer rat had the nerve to ‘joke’ about wanting another one, whilst happily telling them both she skipped out on her classes to take a nap and she’s going watch a movie later. Glad your vacation is treating you well, you fat slob. Even her response to Nova about how she “can’t stay on the phone forever” made me mad. No, you fucking can’t, but you could be in your own home with your child taking naps and watching movies, which is clearly all you’re fucking doing between scab eating and vegetating. Don’t @ me with ‘but do you even understand mental illness’ because yes, I do. I also understand being a mother so no sympathy here. Tylers mom can’t stand her and honestly if this was my son I would find it really hard to sit back and watch this again and again. I can’t stand Ty as a person either but at least he can put his fucking kid first and from what I see he is in need of way more help than Cate. The guy is completely brain dead from it all. And now she has only gone and TRAP BABY’d him. Because if he leaves, who the hell is going to keep things going whilst she goes on vacation? Looking forward to the inaccurate portrayal of anxiety, depression and postpartum depression Oscar award winning Catelynn has coming up in this season.
Holding out for a plot twist that this trap baby is actually some guys from her ‘rehab’ vacation facility and she can become someone elses problem for once. Hopefully when they inevitably break up Tylers head will start deflating a bit, its getting thicker and more squared by the season.
Bristol. I can’t believe I am writing this but I don’t hate her…yet. Yes, she’s pretentious, and the fact that she’s a Palin is a huge red flag but so far I gotta say, she hasn’t been unbearable. The scenes between her and Dakota are hard to watch. I don’t believe she’s insensitive or ignorant to his ptsd, I think she’s been verbally beaten down by him so many times that she knows she can’t help him no matter what she says or does. Unless he wants help and seeks out the proper treatment he’s a ticking time bomb waiting to explode.
Sarah Palin trying to come across as a cool mom is fucking pathetic but I gotta admit, watching that woman make a full off herself once again entertains my socks off.
Cheyenne. I have nothing to say except for the only one who wasn’t a teen mom, I find it really hard to wrap my head around the fact she is mentally any older than 15. How many goddamn people do you need at a baby gymnastics class? And did she really need her mom to tell her the baby was choking? The girl is going to be entertaining if nothing else and I’m sure Nathan and Keiffahs love child will keep things dramatic throughout!
Over all, what another boring episode, I’m assuming OG now stands for ‘Original Garbage’ now?
Teen Mom Mama Drama Unfiltered